yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
