He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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