my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
