Don't make out with my wife yet
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
