how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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