my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
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