Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
