he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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