So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
