u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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