I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
