thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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