I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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