the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
