Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
