So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
