She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I pour the whiskey from now on
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize