So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
