i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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