Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
