You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize