How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
