It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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