This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I know her cup size but not her name....
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize