hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
please come you make the beer taste better
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
