does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
