she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize