I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
