Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
