You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
