OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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