Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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