did you get engaged???
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
