We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
