but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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