So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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