Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
