wat bout pragnant strippers??
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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