i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
