I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
