Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
