I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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