I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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