im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
