I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize