Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize