I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
