windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
