everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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