I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Randomize
