I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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