It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
