He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
