no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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