I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I got inside last night via doggy door
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
