Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
