he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
