the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
