Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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