I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
