This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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