I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
