Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize