I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
