you traded sex for a burrito?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
did i walk over a car last night?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
