Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
