I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
