so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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