I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
