No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
