Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
