Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
