:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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