Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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