That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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