Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
